Fat Tuesday

ETA...I tried to post this yesterday...not sure why it didn't post through...Let Fat Tuesday become Fat Wednesday...its all the same. 


Well...I don't know if I'd call it a breakthrough of my plateau, but I've dropped 1...one single pound this past week.  *sigh* 

**photo coming...having issues with uploads**

Start 264.4
Last week 222.2
This week 221.2

The extremely slow rate of loss is frustrating me a great deal.  I need to figure out what is next...Am I eating too little?  too much?  too irregularly?  wrong foods? 

I'm exercising quite a bit...I know its not that.  I zumba, run, ride bicycles...my activity level is 10X what it used to be pre-lapband.

I did stand in front of my mirror today and got a glimpse of what the loss will eventually bring.  My body is definitely shrinking...so despite the number on the scale I am so glad about that.  I'm glad I can see it in other ways...the fit of my clothing, my physical ability, strength and agility.

In one more month it will be 6 months post-surgery.  I'm kind of excited to see those 6 month photos I'll be taking to match up to my start and 3 month photos.  Hopefully the shrinking is not all in my head. 

Unlike lots of overweight people I have always seen myself *smaller* than I actually am.  I have an extremely unrealistic idea of what my body actually looks like.  I used to ask my husband...am I that big?  or that big...pointing at two larger women of different sizes...to try and guage how others actually saw me.

I was always a little shocked at the response...

I think part of it was because I've always been athletic if not an athlete...so while not a runner I played volleyball or softball or rode bikes and went camping and hiking etc...I think I probably always mentally thought of myself around a size 12/14...not a size 22/24.  Thats why I need to take these 6 month photos for comparison.  I don't want to get complacent thinking I'm looking great when the reality is so much different.  I may look BETTER...but I don't want to stop there.

So...just a little prost to weight loss.  Another week ahead of me...and I'm shooting for 2 full pounds.  I want to see the TEENS!!!

Fat and Sassy is out. 

Color Me Rad Nashville!

Five months ago I was a sad sad overweight creaky old lady who could barely tie her shoes...Five months ago I ran for 30 seconds and felt like my lungs were going to explode and I was going to fall over and die.  Five months ago I weighed 45 pounds more than I do right now...

Five months ago I couldn't have run a 5K.

On Saturday, September 21st I finished my first ever 5K run wearing a red white and blue tutu that belongs to my 4 year old daughter because it FITS around my waist (and she thought I looked beautiful in it.) 

This was a great day.

I very nearly missed out on it too.  My weeks have been filled with sick kids and all the drama that goes along with it.  I was tired, worn out and dreading the run.  The morning of the race was cold...rain and thunderstorms...I had every excuse in the book not to get up and drive at 5:30AM in that mess of weather to Nashville for this run.

But I didn't use them.  I showed up.  BOOYAH!

And I ran...with one earphone in listening to some Pitbull as I kept a steady pace.  I ran slower than some and faster than others but it didn't matter.

I've been struggling with my progress these past couple of weeks...feeling like I'm doing it wrong, not losing fast enough, not seeing the results I should, comparing myself to others...

Now I realize how far I've come...and I'm so glad I didn't give up when it was hard.  I'm so glad I didn't fall back into old habits.  I'm so glad I finally feel like I DESERVE better health.

My current frustrations seem a little silly when I think that if I accomplish the exact same results in another 5 months I'll have lost 90 pounds, be running 10Ks and my daughter and I will still be sharing tutus.  

I am strong.

I am beautiful.

I am worth it!

 

I had to start all over again...

On day 4 of my 5 day pouch test reset I realized I was doing it all wrong.  I did the 5 days, but instead of limiting myself to what each day was scheduled for I ended up adding the new day's food to what I'd been allowed to eat before...

And so I quit and decided to start again today.

And I'm glad I did because I don't think that my pouch was reshrunk...I was still super hungry and overeating with the variety of stuff I had to choose from....

Last week's modified version actually worked pretty well for weight loss.  It looks like a 1.5 pound drop so far...I'll do my official weigh in tomorrow on Fat Tuesday.  That kind of confirms my theory that this was related to the amount of carbohydrates I'd been consuming...they were becoming my primary source of food instead of protein. 

So here I go again with Day 1...Liquids...

Days One & Two: Liquid Proteinlow-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding.

The first two days are all liquids. You can have as many low-carb protein shakes as you like to satisfy hunger or cravings. In addition drink at least six 8-ounce glasses of water each day. The purpose of all liquids is to break any snacking, grazing or processed carbohydrate habits. In addition the liquids will work to cleanse your system and prepare you for the following three days...

So far today I've had an Atkins protein shake and a cup of Campbells Sweet Potato Tomatillo soup.

(SO GOOD)  And I am feeling quite satisfied.

Here is the other awesome thing about this process...my blood sugars are STELLAR right now.  In fact, with as few carbs as I've been eating I could probably completely go off my insulin and be just fine.  Loving that.  Loving the feeling of being healthier. 

I have to keep telling myself that the end results are so worth it.  I'm frustrated with where I am now, but holy moly...I was thinking this morning about where I was 5 months ago pre-surgery...45 pounds heavier...struggling to even put my shoes on...and now I'm doing JUMPING JACKS as a zumba warmup and I'm not even winded.

It is all so worth it.

Day 1 - 5 Day Pouch Test

Wow...this is hard.

Harder than I thought it would be.  Day 1 of the 5 day pouch test...its 7PM and I am H.U.N.G.R.Y.

And because my tummy won't stop rumbling from lack of carbohydrates this blog will be focusing on food because I'm obsessing about it right now. 

I've only managed 500 calories so far today out of my alotted 1200.  Plus, depending on your school of thought I zumba'ed so if you eat your exercise calories then I'm in a really big deficit of food right now.  I personally do not eat my exercise calories so it doesn't really count for me. 

Confession...

I did not make my meal plan nor did I go to the commissary last night.  Instead I went this morning and winged it.  Ugh.  But, I think I'm in pretty good shape right now.

What I did discover is I'm bored with my normal protein shake.  Actually, part of the problem is that I don't like the taste of it much without being able to blend fruit into it...a carb no no for me today.  So, I went to the store and bought some Atkins shakes...I prefer the dark chocolate ones...Yum.

I am also trying a Pure Protein Shake...23g of protein in one of these.  I've never had one before...its whats for "second dinner" tonight. 

Overall I made it through the day, but I really did miss being able to eat solid food.  I've never lasted two days after a fill on full liquids...I'm terrible at cheating myself that way.  Day one of getting back on track!

5 Day Pouch Test

I've plateaued.

I've plateaued and I'm pretty irritated about it.  I've spent the last few weeks hovering around 224/223/222...back and forth between those three numbers and no matter how little I eat, how much I eat, how little I exercise and how much I exercise I can't seem to bust through it. 

And the worst part is that this is exactly where I stopped losing before...its the lowest weight that I've been at in over 10 years.  Warning...temper tantrum alert...**I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE!**

I really really want to be in Onederland by the time I next see my husband.  I'm not going to make it if I keep bouncing around in the 220's for the next month.  It breaks all my goals I set for myself and is very demotivating.

I'm feeling grumpy.

My daughter totally understands my grumpiness and empathizes with it.  (isn't that the CUTEST grumpy face ever?)

 

So I've been poking around online and found the 5 day back to basics pouch test and I'm going to try it this week.  Starting tomorrow.

The idea is that it breaks a carb addicts cycle (totally me right now) and it shrinks your pouch back to small so you can get a fresh start on your eating behavior. 

I decided that my carb intake must be to blame for this plateau.  I'm guessing that really because I'm eating far more than I should be with each meal because I WANT carbohydrates...I'm talking crackers, bread, etc.

When I went to see my nutritionist he said I shouldn't have to exercise 5-6 days/week for an hour to lose weight...he said that my eating should automatically be making my weight loss happen.

But its not.  I'm afraid if I wasn't being a zumba-maniac I'd start GAINING weight and that is SO NOT HAPPENING.

(I'm yelling at myself...its helpful when one feels grumpy and can only type out the frustration.)

So...because I've been so bad about follow through I'm going to document my journey daily on my blog.  Its all about accountability for me.  And if anyone else ever gets in the same bind they can see what it is that worked (or didn't work) for me...

So, my preplan is this...1. I'm writing out a comprehensive 5 day meal plan following the 5 day pouch test rules.  2.  I'm headed to the grocery store this afternoon to stock up on what I'll need.

Totally doable.

Interested in the 5 day pouch test?  Go HERE or just read the condensed version below...

Days One & Two: Liquid Protein
low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding.

The first two days are all liquids. You can have as many low-carb protein shakes as you like to satisfy hunger or cravings. In addition drink at least six 8-ounce glasses of water each day. The purpose of all liquids is to break any snacking, grazing or processed carbohydrate habits. In addition the liquids will work to cleanse your system and prepare you for the following three days.
 
It is very important to drink a minimum of 64 ounces of water each day. This will prevent dehydration, will help curb cravings and will flush your body of toxins and fat. Sufficient water intake improves kidney function and cell processes.

Day 3: Soft Protein
canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy.

Day 4: Firm Protein
ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut.

Day 5: Solid Protein
white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game

The next three days you get to eat as much as you want as often as you want! Ahhh, but there's a catch: it has to be solid protein and you only get 15 minutes each time you sit down to eat. No drinking 30 minutes before or after meals and no drinking with your food. A dry pouch will hold your soft protein longer helping your to feel full and fed longer.

You don't have to eat the whole thing...

I ate sushi tonight.  It was really yummy...like just hit the spot yummy.  I had a little sushi pack that had a total of 12 rolls in it.  Pretty healthy amount of sushi...something I could have polished off plus add a spicy tuna roll or two, a dragon roll and a bunch of edamame on top of it all just a few months ago.

But tonight I ate 4 rolls and I felt pretty satisfied.

And then I kept eating.  And I finished off 6 rolls.

And I kept eating.  And before you knew it I had eaten 11 of the 12 rolls of sushi...and now I feel pretty stuffed and I feel a little sick to my stomach.

Why did I keep eating?

It wasn't a cognizant thing.  I realized after the fact that i kept eating because there was still food on my plate.

I grew up in a family of 7 kids...all of us farm kids running around like crazy all day long and we all had healthy appetites...and my mom is a meat and potatoes kind of cook...so we had hearty meals pretty much every day...

And I was taught from an early age that you cleaned your plate.  You just did.  I can't tell you how many times I was told to be grateful for what I had because of the starving children in Africa...which is just such a terrible terrible thing and I wish that by me cleaning my plate that would have actually DONE something for a starving child anywhere...

But it didn't...what it did was teach me to overeat.

So as I stared down at that one last sushi roll I have to admit it took everything in my will power not to just eat that last roll...to walk it to the garbage can and throw it in.

**As a side note...I don't save sushi as leftovers...its only good fresh and otherwise is nasty and scary (as in what bacteria is growing on it) and no way am I going to eat that**

So - back to my story...I didn't want to eat it because I was hungry for it.  I wanted to eat it because it was food leftover and it felt wasteful.

Yes, my family composted, grew our own garden of veggies, recycled like maniacs and we were not WASTEFUL and we were GRATEFUL.  And somehow that translated into my 40 year old mind that I still had to clean my plate even though it would make me sick and hurt my body.

I did a little research on it and while there isn't any statistical things linking overweight adults and the "clean your plate" phenomenom I did find some good articles... like this one HERE.

And I realized tonight that I make my child eat more than she wants.  When she says she's done I tell her 3 more bites...or 4 more bites...

I'd hate for her to have similar issues with obesity as an adult.

An unrecognized NSV (non-scale victory) is just being more aware of what took me to the weight that I was at.  Little things like "clean your plate" and "don't be wasteful" that have trained me to think I have to eat eat eat and eat some more.

Fat Tuesday Weigh In

I was a little afraid of my weigh in today.  I took a week off.  Yup.  Ok...more like 5 days off...I exercised on Monday with a 1/2 hearted zumba class then didn't get off my butt again until Friday...And then did 2 days of running 2 miles each and some informal bike riding at my 4-year old with training wheels pace...not exactly breaking a sweat with that...

I needed a break.  I needed a breather.  I needed to veg on my couch and rewatch hours of Project Runway.  ( I LOVE that show.)

But I didn't want to completely derail all the good habits that I had started and in my vegetative state I discovered that my "lifestyle" has changed.  I'm just simply a lot more active than I used to be in general. 

That felt good.

And I knew this wouldn't be a long term break.  I've only got 3 months until I see my sweetheart and come hell or high water I WILL weigh less than him.  For the first time EVER (since we met.)  I'm determined to be in Onederland by the time he sees me again. 

And so I stepped on the scale and did a little dance. 

Highest recorded weight - 284
Starting weight w/lapband - 264.4
Banded 4/24/2013
Last week - 224.6
This week - 222.2


So I still lost and that makes me happy.  I'm not where I had hoped to be.  I'm still 8 pounds more than my next goal that I had wanted to reach by today...but the loss is steady and I can't and won't complain.