But tonight I ate 4 rolls and I felt pretty satisfied.
And then I kept eating. And I finished off 6 rolls.
And I kept eating. And before you knew it I had eaten 11 of the 12 rolls of sushi...and now I feel pretty stuffed and I feel a little sick to my stomach.
Why did I keep eating?
It wasn't a cognizant thing. I realized after the fact that i kept eating because there was still food on my plate.
I grew up in a family of 7 kids...all of us farm kids running around like crazy all day long and we all had healthy appetites...and my mom is a meat and potatoes kind of cook...so we had hearty meals pretty much every day...
And I was taught from an early age that you cleaned your plate. You just did. I can't tell you how many times I was told to be grateful for what I had because of the starving children in Africa...which is just such a terrible terrible thing and I wish that by me cleaning my plate that would have actually DONE something for a starving child anywhere...
But it didn't...what it did was teach me to overeat.
So as I stared down at that one last sushi roll I have to admit it took everything in my will power not to just eat that last roll...to walk it to the garbage can and throw it in.
**As a side note...I don't save sushi as leftovers...its only good fresh and otherwise is nasty and scary (as in what bacteria is growing on it) and no way am I going to eat that**
So - back to my story...I didn't want to eat it because I was hungry for it. I wanted to eat it because it was food leftover and it felt wasteful.
Yes, my family composted, grew our own garden of veggies, recycled like maniacs and we were not WASTEFUL and we were GRATEFUL. And somehow that translated into my 40 year old mind that I still had to clean my plate even though it would make me sick and hurt my body.
I did a little research on it and while there isn't any statistical things linking overweight adults and the "clean your plate" phenomenom I did find some good articles... like this one HERE.
And I realized tonight that I make my child eat more than she wants. When she says she's done I tell her 3 more bites...or 4 more bites...
I'd hate for her to have similar issues with obesity as an adult.
An unrecognized NSV (non-scale victory) is just being more aware of what took me to the weight that I was at. Little things like "clean your plate" and "don't be wasteful" that have trained me to think I have to eat eat eat and eat some more.
I got the staving kids in Africa speach growing up to...I also have a hard time sometime with the clean plate issue, I have to tell myself you can have this again another time No need to eat it all now...btwn clean plate issues and the feeling ( in my head) that what if this is the last time I get this so i need to eat every bite. I struggle.. I mean cleaning my plate in no way helps the hugray.. and as an adult I cant remember ONE meal that was delish that I wanted and second time and could not get my hands on at a later time. I mean for the most part if I want it Hubby can make it or we can eventually go get it.
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea of saying to myself...you can have this again...you are right, of course...I can always get or make the meal a second time...
DeleteThis one is definitely still a struggle (even nearly a year banded). I hate being wasteful, so do have to routinely remind myself (and my husband) that whether or not we finish that food, it won't actually affect starving people elsewhere. We couldn't get our leftovers to them if we tried. That one is a steep learning curve.
ReplyDeleteI also tend to eat everything on my plate without thinking, which is why using smaller plates and measuring at home is crucial for me. I'm a mess when I eat out.
I need to purchase smaller plates for this exact reason. I need a plate that 12 sushi rolls won't fit on. I wish they had sold them in smaller packs too.
DeleteI also have this same problem with overcooking meals...leftovers X1 is fine...but I find myself cooking for an army when there is just me and two small babies...I hate being wasteful too so its really really hard for me to toss out good food...not to mention expensive. :p
Great post. Very introspective.
ReplyDeleteI feel ya on this one. It is nearly impossible for me to throw out half eaten food. It's a psychological thing. I remember trying to eat all the really good food at the house so that no one else could eat them all first. Hello fat girl!! I love reading your posts. You're the bestie I never knew I didn't know!
ReplyDeleteha ha...hello fat girl. You crack me up. Maybe using the above thought that you can always have/buy/make the food again will keep us from being so crazy. ;)
DeleteA.D.O.R.E. you too!