I cried. And cried and cried.
I went home afraid to tell my husband because I thought he wouldn't love me anymore. My self worth was so diminished I thought that being sick made me no longer worthy as a wife or mother.
I was angry at myself for killing myself before my babies were old enough to understand. At the time one was 5 and the other was 7 months old. My life was over and nothing would ever be good again. Mortality had just punched me in my face. I was sure nothing would ever be the same.
That last fear was the one that came true. Despite my doctor discouraging me I went to my first informational weight loss surgery meeting and i was right...nothing would ever be the same again.
Here I am one year after that initial diagnosis.
66 lbs lighter
My A1C started at 8.1 and is now 6.1
My cholesterol is 99
I run without heaving.
I laugh more
I smile more
My kids are happier
Everyone eats healthier.
I know I've got years and years of life ahead of me...full of activity and adventures.
To say that my lapband surgery saved my life isnt true. I SAVED MY LIFE. My lapband helped me make better decisions. I chose to change my eating habits. I chose to exercise. I chose to keep going even when it was hard. And there have been times it has been really really hard.
What was it that David from this seasons Biggest Loser show said...something about how taking that first step was when I became a success story.
I'm not done yet. I'm not even close to being done....but if you are just starting out...take my word for it. It's all worth it.
Don't give up!