Sunday, June 16, 2013

Sabotage! Will I ever learn?

There is a saying in the lapband world that the band can curb hunger, but not head hunger.  For an emotional eater, such as myself, this could be the kiss of death for a successful weight loss.  So, in addition to learning how to eat better, slower, smaller portions and chewing to mush...I am also having to learn to ignore the head hunger cravings...

I am slowly winning the actual hunger battle.  It's not perfect yet.  I forget about the band and take a bite bigger thn I should...or eat too fast...or don't chew we'll fact it happened this morning when I had a piece of peanut butter toast stick firmly until I was able to choke it up.

But, I'm eating much less and exercising more...and as we all know...those two things are what creates an environment of weight loss.

I am not winning the other battle.  In fact, I am losing the head hunger battle in a spectacular fashion.  If i walk past candy...I eat it.  At night I crave carbs and give in.  It's not true's bad habits and years of conditioning to soothe my emotions with food.  I miss my deployed husband.  We are working to keep our relationship together which is a huge source of anxiety.  I get stressed being the only responsible person for two small babies.  I am working part time on top of everything else...  And all those emotions want food...actually...they want processed carbs and sugar.  And I'm giving in.

Sabotage.  It's the same old story that I tell with every diet.  I start off strong then sanotage my good work.  Only this time it has to be different.  It's not an option to fail at this.

I started tonight.  I put the kids in bed and immediately I found myself in the kitchen wandering and looking for something to snack on.  Good thing I had prepared...there is nothing to eat that's not good for me food.  So...I had a slice of cheese and a sugar free Popsicle.

And I've upped my bedtime...if I'm sleeping I'm not eating.

I've now kicked my butt and now I'm off  to bed.

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