9 months out and feeling groovy...

Well, I should have published this back on January 24th...a whole week ago, but one thing after another and it just didn't happen.

I blame having kids.  Because really...everything I'm late for somehow relates back to my munchkins.  It's never just pure lazy or procrastination.  (Hahahaha)

So...on that day I weighed in at 200.8.  Ugh.  So close to my goal...but it STILL took me close to a week to finally get to that 1 at the front of my weight.  I'm there now so I guess we can say its "old news."

Other than that let me just tell you a few things...

1.  I sit down and look down and my gut is so flat.  Like I can see my thighs which is really weird.

2.  I LOVE crossing my legs comfortably.

3.  I don't eat enough.  I struggle with this every day,  I'm forcing myself to eat more and I think that's why I've started to lose weight again more regularly.  I don't want to starve myself but I'm just not hungry.  Ever.  I'm shooting for 800-1000 calories and 40 gr protein.  I'm talking this over with my doc on the 5th.  I was thinking about getting a fill because I can eat bread/meat/etc but I don't know if that's the best plan now.  

4.  I can eat the heck out of candy.  :/. I hate that candy is a slider food for me.  Skittles are my current nemesis.

5.  I'm not exercising enough.  Because of illness it's been 2 weeks since Zumba and I've only done minimal moving at home.  I REALLY need to ramp it up.  I have big dreams of this once my hubby is finally home.  Until then I feel like I'm treading water a little just staying afloat.

6.  I'm fighting for every pound these days.  I think my big loss days are gone, but I'm ok WTH that because I'm still losing.

So..here are my comparison pics...not a huge difference that I can see (***edited to add clarification...I mean difference between three months ago photos and now.  I definitely DO see the difference from start to finish.**) , but I don't expect that anymore.  Like I said...I'm just happy the scale continues to go down.

In other news...I'm scheduled for the next step for my reduction at the end of March.  Feeling better about it, but still nervous.

And...one more week and our deployment is OVER!  I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Onederland...did you hear me? Onederland!

I weighed myself about 12 times today.  I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a fluke.

Can. Not. Be. Happier!

P.S.  I still owe you the 9 month post too...coming soon!

P.S.S.  one more week and my hubby gets home from deployment!

The process of losing...

Today AmVets came and picked up 5 large boxes of stuff, two bags of clothing, one bag of coats/scarves/hats, a highchair, a shelf, and baby paraphenalia.  It felt SO GOOD to get rid of that stuff.

And its a byproduct of my weight loss. 

I had an aha! moment today as I watched all these things leave my house.  I have held on to stuff just like I held onto my fatness for so long because its protected me.  Its kept me from having to deal with stuff that makes me sad...like the fact that my "baby" is now 19 months old and talking and runs and jumps and isn't really a baby anymore.

All those baby toys and clothes and shoes and things that have a history of just being touched by my munchkins was really hard to get rid of...I can't even tell you how much blubbering I will do when I take the crib apart and little dude gets a big boy bed.

Anywho...it made me stop and think about my weight.  Its protected me for so long and given me an identity that I'm comfortable with.  I'm the funny fat chick.  I'm the one always ready to try a new diet.  I'm the one who "wears her weight well."

With my weight loss that identity is changing...and its a little scary.

In fact...remember my boob job option?  I had the consult.  If I want a reduction its a go.  I'm TERRIFIED of losing my boobs right now.  They are painful and cause my back to ache, but it feels like one more thing that will change my personal identity...I've always been the girl with the big boobs.  Who will I be when they are gone?  Who will I be when my weight is gone?

Its very hard for me to even imagine how I will identify myself in 50 more pounds. 

So that was my aha! moment...I realized that I had to really start to think about the other parts of me that I want to be recognized and known for.

If anything was possible you all would call me wonder woman...the sexiest most awesome super hero of all time....that would be a cool new identity.  ha ha ha.

P.S.  Her boobs aren't small either.  ;)

So...in other news...201 weigh in today.  Just two days and two pounds to make my 199 goal by 9 months out.  (say a little prayer for me!) 

A little bit of everything...

It's kind of amazing how a day at the zoo feels like a complete wipeout workout.  I don't even know how to track my calories because I wasn't running...just walking at different speeds...up hills down hills pausing at animals to ooh and ahh with my munchkin kids...

But I am wiped out!

They are so cute, though and we had a great time.  

I bought a Polar FT7 heart rate monitor to help with days like today.  Isn't it pretty?  My favorite color and everything.

I'm super excited.  It tracks heart rate, calories burned and I can wear it in the water.  I've been eyeing them for awhile and they just went on sale so I couldn't pass it up.  Plus...I feel like I'm at the point where I'm fighting for every pound and this will help me keep on track for calories burned vs calories consumed.  I'll tell you how I like it when I finally get it in the mail.

Last but not least....TWO WEEKS until my honey comes back from deployment for good!  I'm just treading water it feels...just trying to keep my head afloat with all that is going on...which is quite frustrating because in just 4 days I'm at the 9 month mark and I WILL have a 1 in front of my weigh in.  I WILL!

So there you have it....a little bit of everything...and a little bit of nothing.

Tags still on...

I know I'm not the only one who has a little pile of clothes they bought intending to "lose the weight this time" and that dress/skirt/shirt/pants/etc was the inspiration and motivation to do it this time around.....

C'mon...fess up to all those clothes with the TAGS STILL ON.

So, I've been sorting through my pile....which is much larger than I'd like to admit.  Shirts, pants, pajamas, dresses...I even have UNDERWEAR in there that I thought I'd wear when I finally lost that gut.  *sigh*

On a side note....that stubborn gut is going to be the last thing to go in my case...it's the bain of my weight loss and the thing that keeps me honest about what I'm doing and why....

On a second side note...I'm really kind of bummed all the cute bras that I've stashed away for someday don't fit at all.  It's interesting to see how the weight loss has changed body proportions.

Anywho...I find a sundress I bought from Old Navy at least 10 years ago...size 14/16...It's hanging in my closet with the tags still on and I've never been able to fit into it...

The very idea that I carted this $20 sundress around for the last 10 years just makes me shake my head....but I did and now I'm kind of glad because I freakin' FIT INTO THE DRESS.  In fact, it's 28 degrees outside and I'm sporting an old navy sundress.

It's cute, right?  Haha...I'm totally wearing it today with boots/tights and a sweater.  

Small "get the mail" break.  And I've changed my clothes because even with boots, tights and a sweater I about froze my tushy off....and while I'd like my tushy smaller, frozen off is less desirable.  

Oh my aching...

I am S.O.R.E. 

Word to the wise...Do NOT sit on your butt for 2.5 weeks doing nothing but eating treats and then expect to jump right back into Zumba and exercise without serious consequences like:

1.  inability to walk
2.  inability to stand without groaning
3.  ouchy feet
4.  achy back
5.  a server case of complainitis....

I zumba'ed again this morning and feel wiped out.  Like I need a nap that lasts a week kind of wiped out.

Too bad I'm working this afternoon...and have two kids that require my attention...and have to go to hip hop dance class...yeah...its one of those days I just want my bed, my PJs and thats all I need.

Have I mentioned lately that my hubby gets home from deployment in about A MONTH???  I was going to join a crossfit bootcamp...but then I realized that if zumba is going to kick my butt...plus hubby coming home and all the work that goes along with that...I probably shouldn't throw a committment like that bootcamp in there without realizing I'll be overextending myself.

Its one of the best things that the lapband has helped me understand....sometimes you just have to put YOU first.

Plus, I'm fairly certain I want to be able to run and throw my arms around him when he gets off that plane and that bootcamp will make it so that I can barely move my feet and I doubt my arms would lift.

Just going to have to wait until a better time...

Fat Tuesday Weigh in

My last Fat Tuesday was way back in November!  So unacceptable!  But it stands to reason...that was the start of the Chocolate massacre and the cookie binge and the eggnog drinking...it was a BAD 4 weeks for me in the world of "cutting back on sugar."  Who am I kidding...that world didn't exist for me in December.

And so here is today's new year weigh in...

April 24, 2013 - Start 264.4

Last weigh-in: 211.8

This week 203.2

I'm glad/thankful/amazed that I lost pounds.  I replaced my protein intake with sugar.  It was that bad.

But, all things come to an end...and I've been detoxing....tossed everything in the garbage and I'm trying to stay away from it.  I'm hoping starting up Zumba again (first class today!) will help too.

Onward and healthier!

Disbelief

Sometimes you need a reminder of how far you've come. 

That is all.

Looking forward to...

One of my resolutions was a triathlon...a sprint triathlon to be exact....meaning a mini one since I'm nowhere near ready to swim long miles, run long miles AND bike long miles.

Here is the rub.

I love to swim and bike.

I do not love to run.  I've tried to love running.  I have.  TWO 5Ks this year and the entire C25K program and I still don't love it.

But I do love to swim and bike...which is why a triathlon is in my future....I figure enjoying two out of three makes it doable.

But holy cow there are few to choose from.  I was thinking September timeframe and I can't find one anwhere near me that isn't in March, April or May.

Ugh.  will not be ready by then.  Not going to kill myself....and I know I won't be ready by then.

So then I start thinking of the tough mudder or warrior dash or spartan race or something like that...

Hmmmm....is it too soon?

MAYBE. 

Because I'm getting a boob job.  Yup.  My surgeon and I discussed it and I'm having a reduction done.  Cannot wait.  The fact that I'm wearing three sports bras to even zumba was enough for him to say do it now instead of waiting until I hit goal weight.  He doesn't think they will change much over the next 60 pounds anyway...and as I told a friend...if they do then I'll just get implants. 

THAT was not something I thought I'd ever say...enjoy what God gave ya...thats what I told myself, but then I met Donnie Wahlberg (my lapband) and realized that a little extra help to make your body work better, more efficiently and healthy isn't a bad thing...

And yes...I can rationalize implants in there somehow...

So anywho...not getting ahead of myself, but I'm pretty excited and I'm just waiting to hear back from the insurance referral people to schedule it in the next few months.  My personal goal is to be in the 180's by the time it happens....Then I'm only 50 pounds to goal...

Resolutions for 2014

I really hate it when you write out a long post then accidently delete it all by touching your laptop touchpad wrong.

So...my long New Year's Resolution post is going to be much shorter than I'd hoped, but let me sum it up with this...

My weigh in yesterday was 203.  SO. CLOSE. TO ONEDERLAND!

I'm almost there.  That makes it a full 60 pounds lost since April.  I LOVE that.  Proud of myself.  Glad I did my surgery and don't regret any of it.

My first resolution is to make my goal weight this year.  That means another 65 pounds gone in 2014.

Second resolution is to do a sprint Triathlon. 

Third resolution is to cook less with processed foods.

Fourth resolution is to blog more!  Woot!  At least 3X per week.  And I'll be getting my website up and running this year...So...look for some changes to this site....

I've got more, but these are the weight loss related goals I've got.

I'm hoping everyone is following some great advice I saw on Facebook today...

"Today is the start of a blank 365 page book.  Write a good one."