Monday, July 8, 2013

Will you go out with me?

When I was 10 we moved from hicksville Oregon to big city Oregon.  It was 1983...and while I hate to admit it...I was not cool.  Like I wore white corduroy knickers on my first day of school not cool...but I met a boy who lived down the street from me named Tim.  He was a year older and T.R.O.U.B.L.E.  and I loved it.  (Yes...the first of my bad boy boyfriends).

So Tim had his friend corner me in the elementary school library and ask me if I wanted to "go with him."  Him being Tim...And being from  hicksville I said, "Go where?"  And then his friend started laughing at me and said, "No, seriously..."  Giving me that look like duh...are you serious?  So of course I said yes without having any idea what i was actually agreeing to and that was how I managed to snag my first big city boyfriend.

So now take that little story above and apply it to my relationship with food.  I'm struggling these days trying to figure out what in the heck I've agreed to with this lapband.  There are so many schools of thought...
- eat only X number of calories
-eat whatever you want just get your protein in first
-calorie cycling up and down
-track it
-don't track it
Blah blah blah...

I'm in a whirlwind right now and I kind of feel like if I make a mistake and I are going to break up...and that is not a good thing.  I need to be besties with food.  We need to understand each other, never stab each other in the back and always want what's best for each other.

So, I'm working my way through figuring out how to eat like a buff skinny chick.  It's HARD.  I had 1/2 cup of soup tonight and that measly portion just didn't seem like enough.  But it was.

And I'm just putting this out there now, but if food does not cooperate I'm going to push it off the sawdust pile so I can win king of the mountain...just like I did with Tim.

And that is how I lost my first big city boyfriend.


  1. I love your posts. I was banded yesterday. I am so content just barely getting my liquids in. It will be weird to eat real food again.

  2. Where is OR were/are you? I used to live in Medford

    1. I grew up in Vale and then we moved to Portland. I lived in Oregon most of my life...until I married a soldier... It's home sweet home for me! I've traveled the state extensively. Love the Medford area. Beautiful country down there!

  3. Oh my gosh--this post should be part of a nationally syndicated column! The "how I got my first boyfriend" and "how I lost my boyfriend" threads are such perfect metaphors for what we overweighters are going through, and lapbanders, too!

    But, literary critique aside--

    I agree with you that "I need to be besties with food. We need to understand each other, never stab each other in the back and always want what's best for each other."
    In reality, food has always been good to us. Brocooli and apples have never done anything but nourish and sustain us. It's when we let the middleman--the food manufacturers--add grease, msg, and other chemicals to those natural foods that we got into trouble. I say we throw the processed junk off the hill and keep the romance alive with those natural foods that would never harm us! :)